


the one where everybody finds out

by eviesthirlwzll



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/F, oh i just realized ross' son is ben hahahaha, season 5 episode 14, this is basically everyone else messing with mal and evie, yeah sorry thats the last tag, yes i got this from friends, yes ross is ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23732737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eviesthirlwzll/pseuds/eviesthirlwzll
Summary: "Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win! I can't have sex with you!" Mal yells, stepping away from Audrey, her forhead was creased and guilt was written all over her face, the girl smirks, "And why not?" She asks, taunting her, taunting them."Because I'm in love with Evie!" She retorts, shouting her heart out as she flails her arms around, everything seemed to pause. "You're-you're what?" Audrey begins to sputter, Evie gets out of the bathroom, a big smile on her face, tears running down her face as Uma, Jay, Carlos and Harry all enter as well. Shock was an understatement."I love her! That's right, I love her! I love her." She repeats on and on until she pulls Evie to a tight hug, bringing their foreheads together, "I'm in love with you, Evie."
Relationships: Evie/Mal (Disney)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55





	the one where everybody finds out

Life wasn't a sit-com. There were no annoying laugh tracks, no audience, nothing. All there was were people, having their own laugh tracks in their heads when something funny happens.

Mal stares at the most beautiful human ever, her heart jumping every so often at the sight of Evie Grimhilde, her girlfriend. Or at least, to the two of them, they're girlfriends. Come on, you're in college, everything is known by everyone. It's nice to have some little secret for yourself.

"Hey, look, the ugly naked guy is putting shit in boxes!" Audrey randomly announces one day, looking out the window as she scrolled on her phone, and somehow, that gained the interest of her friends, all rushing to the big window inside Evie and her apartment.

"Huh, looks like he's moving." Uma frowns, normally, if you're a _decent_ person, ugly naked men won't be your entertainment but hey, it's rare finding people like him in Auradon. Plus, you only get to see him when you're in the Grimhilde-Mountbatten-De Vil apartment.

"Ironically, most of the boxes seemed to be labeled clothes." Ben mumbles, shuddering the moment they get a glimpse of the man's, uh, lower body part.

"I'm going to miss that squishy old butt, though." Jay frowns, earning disgusted scrunches on the face, disagreeing groans and a smack on the head from Carlos. "And now, we're done with the chicken fried rice." Mal mutters, putting her food down and sneakily holding Evie's hand, running her thumb over it thrice.

Evie takes a look at her, pulling her hand away and shaking her head, glaring at the blonde playfully, blowing a kiss towards her which Mal grabs, keeping it safely in her pocket. Being the only ones who knew, Uma, Jay, Carlos and Harry all watch them, careful enough that Audrey and Ben don't notice it.

"Hey, if he's moving, maybe we can get his place." Ben says way suggestively, turning around to face the rest as they all share disgusted expressions, "Ye wanna live in tha' dump?" Harry asks, squinting his eyes and moving past the brunette as he shrugged, "Yeah. It's just across from you guys. So far, we're the only ones not living in this street."

Harry just stares at his boyfriend, reluctantly agreeing to him when he uses his puppy eyes, Jay scoffs, "Whipped." He chuckles, dodging Harry's punch as he ducks, falling on top of Carlos, making the boy grunt, "Will you please get off me?" He asks, glaring at him as Uma snickers, "Please, ten bucks says you like that."

They were all caught up in their own little world that they didn't even realize both Mal and Evie had gotten out, "If they get it, we can't have sex against the window anymore." The blonde whispers suggestively, a teasing smirk reserved for Evie on her face as the raven haired girl gasps, hitting her arm and blushing, "Mal! They could hear you! Shut up!" She chastises, "Please, we've had sex against the door and no one heard us."

Mal might be the most annoying bitch in the world ever, and Evie sometimes wonder how that was possible when she's literally this small person, like, how the hell can you fit suck sarcasm to a person that small?

She might never know the answer, she doesn't need the answer. All she knows is she's completely contented, that everything she needed right now was in front of her, smiling, pulling her inside their apartment, just across the hall.

Maybe a few hours after that, Audrey, Ben, Harry and Uma found themselves inside Phil, or, as they like to call him, ugly naked guy's apartment, "Wow, this apartment, it's great! How come I never realized that it was this nice?" Ben exclaims, looking around the space as Harry frowns, "Maybe it's because ye see a naked man first." He replies, earning an eye roll from his boyfriend as he looks around it.

"I have a friend, you know, Jane? She's searching for an apartment too. So you better hurry your ass up before I tell her." Audrey taunts Ben, at first, the brunette really seemed unfazed until she was halfway through the door, he runs off, taking Uma's hand, knowing that Audrey won't fight against the girl as both Audrey and Harry stay behind.

"Never thought I'd be sayin' this but I gotta go use ugly naked guy's bathroom." Harry smiles gleefully, disappearing behind the walls, leaving Audrey alone, looking around the apartment when she sees Mal and Evie, talking, just in front of the window.

"Oh, guys! Hey, assholes!" She yells, waving frantically at them, althought it seemed like they were in a serious conversation, everything came crashing down when Mal latches her mouth on Evie's neck, both removing their clothes that it leaves Audrey gasping, "Oh my _fucking_ god!"

She continues on shouting, jumping, flailing her arms and covering her eyes as the two continues to, you know, get _it_ on.

She turns around, shielding her eyes away when Harry comes barreling out of the restroom, his hands still wet from washing it as she tends to Audrey, "What? Somethin' happened?" He asks, looking around for anything or anyone when Audrey shakes her head, "Mal and Evie! Mal and Evie!"

Harry's eyes widen, turning to the window to see them doing the naughty, against the window if I might add. He frowns, covering his eyes, "Oh mah fuckin'." He mutters when Audrey peeks again, "Mal and Evie!"

Again, Harry yells along with her, "Bloody hell!" He gags, watching as Audrey finally turns, rubbing her eyes, "My eyes! My _fucking_ eyes!" She yells, about to shout some more when Harry gains his senses, taking her hands and looking at her with a serene expression, "Auds, it's alright. It's okay." He says through ragged breaths, attempting to quiet her down as he turns around, making sure that Ben wasn't there.

"Okay?! How is _that_ okay? They're— they're doing it!" She says in a shrill voice, turning around to check, regretting it immediately, seeing that they're still going at it. "Ah know, ah know!" He answers, putting his hands on her shoulders, pinning her down to the ground as Audrey's face contorted from disgust to shock, slapping Harry's shoulder, "You know?"

"Yes! Ah know and Uma knows and Carlos knows and Jay knows but Ben has no idea so ye 'ave to stop screamin'!" He replies quickly, earning a somehow offended expression from the brunette as Uma enters, panting and gasping for air as she stares at the two, "What the fuck happened here?"

Harry just pulls her inside the huddle, "She fuckin' knows about Mal 'n' Evie, that's what." He spits, earning a grin from the fair skinned girl, "Hey! That's good! How'd you know?" She asks casually, as if it's something they can just talk about when her friends turns her around, "Well, that goes lunch." She mumbles, loud enough for only them to hear as Ben steps into the apartment. "What's going on?"

Three heads turn to him, all paling as they try their best to divert his attention away from the window, away from the two, that's when Harry begins jumping, taking his hand and twirling him around, turning to the other two, asking them silently to join in.

"Hey! What's happening here?" He laughs, smiling brightly at Harry as he continues to dance with him, purposely turning his back on the window, "Nothin', Auds 'n' ah looked 'round the place. It's a beaut." He smiles, charmingly, devilishly, enough to get Ben excited. "Yeah, it does look great. I'm glad you like it."

Turning himself from Harry and onto the window, Uma thinks quickly and starts dancing with Audrey, stepping on her toes at times and earning glares from her but it was worth it when Harry smiles, "Let's dance!"

Confused at first, still, trying to peek over Audrey and Uma's head, when Harry pulls him close to his chest, and at that moment, Ben forgot how to breathe. For all he sees was a sharp jawline and the smile of the love of his life.

* * *

"Wait, so you mean, every single time that they were doing something, be it laundry, grocery or, oh my— that time Evie said she was talking to Chad Charming from home?" Audrey gasps, covering her mouth and scrunching her face in disbelief as Harry nods, smirking.

"Aye, ye got that right, lass. Doin' it, doin' it, phone doin' it." He says smugly, earning a snicker from Uma as she sips her coffee, "God, I can't believe it. It's great, you know. They've been so obvious for years!" She smiles, grinning widely when Harry and Uma's attention were removed from her as both Jay and Carlos jump on the couch, sitting beside them.

"Hey, how is everyone doing?" Carlos smiles as he turns to Doug, the bartender, knowing their usual, he nods, smiling as he prepares their coffees. "We got something to tell you!" Uma says way too excitedly as they both lean in, "What?" Jay asks, whispering, assuming it was a secret when Harry sits back on his chair, "Ah, well, ye see, Audrey just learned aboot Mal 'n' Evie."

Jay widens his eyes, glaring at Harry and looking at him knowingly, "You mean how they're friends and nothing more?" He asks through gritted teeth, looking around worriedly, basically, he's the only one who's keeping this secret way too seriously, hence the intense stare he was giving Harry. Uma sighs, "No, Jay, she knows, she actually knows. We were at ugly naked guy's apartment and, well, we saw them doing it through the window."

Carlos chokes on his coffee, spitting out the scalding liquid and wiping his mouth as he stares at them, horrified, "Actually, it was _against_ the window." Audrey shudders, wanting to bleach her mind because what the fuck? That's bound to explain the 'ghost' in her room whenever there were some noises heard.

"Okay, so, technically, they know that you guys know and they don't know that Harry and Uma know?" Audrey tried processing, earning collective nods from the group, that led Jay to grin, "It doesn't matter who knows what now! Enough of us know already." He smiles, when Carlos agrees, "Yeah. Now the lying and secrets could be over!"

That earned frowns of disapproval from the three as Audrey smirks, a little revenge won't hurt anyone, right?

"Or, you know, we could not tell them and have a little fun of our own." She suggests with a menacing grin, enough to catch the interests of Harry, Uma and Carlos, Jay was just pissed, crossing his arms, "What do you mean, princess?" Uma asks with a smirk, leaning closer as Audrey straightens her back, "Well, you know how they say that they're doing laundry? Well, we could, you know, give them a bunch of laundry to do."

At the mention of that, Harry had this shit-eating grin on his face, nodding his head excitedly as Jay stomps his foot down, "No! You know what's more fun?" He asks, all listened to him, "Telling them."

All he received were groans and voices of disagreement, dismissing his idea fully when they all turn to Audrey again, "Sorry, lad, we wanna do Audrey's thing." Harry shrugs, about to plot their fun when Carlos just smiles at his boyfriend, "I promise, it will be fun."

"But, I can't take any–" He begins, slumping down on his chair as his voice drops into a whine, Audrey sighs, "You don't have to do anything, Jay. Just don't tell them that we know." She replies, hoping that it would finally silence the boy but he whines, "No!"

"I got your secrets," He motions to Carlos, who only nods, agreeing, "I also got your secrets," He turns to Harry who agrees accordingly, "I got your secrets, yours are the worst, by the way," He says sternly, looking at both Uma and Audrey with an evident scowl on his face, "I got their secrets too! I have secrets of my own, you know."

"Ye don't 'ave secrets, Jay." Harry says slowly in a deadpan tone, the boy scoffs, leaning back on his chair, "Well, you certainly don't know that Dude and I take walks in the morning." He mutters, biting his lip and scrunching his nose as he shies away, realizing what he had just revealed, Carlos nods awkwardly, "So, Auds, how do you plan on messing with them?"

"Well, you know, you could use your position as the other roommate. That goes for you too, Uma." She points out, "Then, I, well, I could use the strongest tool at my disposal, my sexuality." She smirks, Harry raises a questioning eyebrow, "If yer goin' to seduce Mal, ye think she'd break?"

As if the world wants to go with their plan, the moment after he said that, Mal enters the coffee shop, a big smile on her face as she waves at them, "Hello, idiots." She greets, heading straight to the counter, asking Doug for a coffee when Audrey gives them a look, silently telling them to, "Watch and learn."

She walks near the counter, looking at the display and casually bumping into the blonde, "Hey, Auds." Mal greets, beaming at her with a glint on her eyes as she waits for the coffee, "Hey! Wow, that jacket looks great on you." She admires, smiling coyly at Mal, earning mixed reactions from their friends, mostly it was jealousy from Uma but you know, just laugh and nod. It's not like they're together.

"You really think so? Evie made it." She grins, unable to hide the small blush on her face at the mention of the girl's name, Audrey raises an eyebrow, feeling around the leather jacket, "She did a great job. Oh, have you been working out?" She asks, actually surprised herself when she feels a bicep under all the leather, "Well, Tourney does help."

That's when Audrey nods, giggling a little, "Why? You okay?" Mal asks, taking the coffee from Doug as Audrey reluctantly smiles, "Oh, you really wanna know?" She asks, inching closer to Mal, who, in return, steps back a little, "Yeah, sure."

"Well, oh, I can't tell you this." She says, laughing lightly when Mal hums, "Auds, it's me. We grew up together, you're one of my best friends, of course you can tell me." She says, leaning back on the counter as Audrey sighs, " I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with some in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just don't even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffee—" That's where Audrey feigns a gasp.

"Oh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will." She says finally before leaving, jaws dropped to the ground, most especially the jaws of her friends. Oh, they're going to have fun messing with Mal and Evie.

Speaking of Mal and Evie, the blonde just furrows her eyebrows, sipping her coffee and leaving the shop, going back to their apartment where Evie was waiting for her, a big smile etched on her face as she greets Mal, "Hey, how's my friend doing?" She says awkwardly, looking around for someone else when Evie pulls her by the collar, "No one's here."

"Well, then, how is my girlfriend doing?" Mal smiles, her breath ghosting over Evie's lips, "You're cute, you know that?" She replies, placing a chaste kiss on the blonde's lips before pulling away, jumping on the couch as they began watching the TV.

"Well, I don't know that. So, please, do tell me more." Mal smirks, sitting beside her and leaning her head on the raven haired girl's shoulder, Evie could only snort, smacking her head, eyes never leaving the TV. "But you know, that's a popular opinion today."

Evie finally turns to the other girl, raising an eyebrow, jealousy clouding her vision, "What?" She asks, frowning and staring at Mal when the girl shrugs, "It was weird. You know how I was at the coffee house? I think Audrey was hitting on me."

Her girlfriend gasps, trying to play it off with a nervous laugh, "What are you talking about?" She asks, still, jealousy was evident in her voice, "I told you, I think Audrey was hitting on me." The blonde answers, adjusting herself so her body is turned completely towards her girlfriend. "Why, you jealous?"

Evie dismisses the teasing, "That's just not possible." She murmurs, refusing to think that her best friend and roommate actually hit on her girlfriend. Like, sure, okay, they weren't official or anything and Audrey didn't know but Uma's there for her!

Mal pouts, putting a hand over her chest, "Ouch. What a way to tell me that I'm unattractive." She says, fighting a smile to tug on her lips as Evie rolls her eyes, kissing her softly, "No, you're very attractive, it's just that, this is Audrey we're talking about. You're childhood buddies, you're technically sisters."

She nods, agreeing to what the raven haired girl was saying, "Maybe you just misunderstood her." Evie tries to say, hoping that none of that was true when Mal shakes her head, "Yeah, now that's one thing I can't be wrong about. E, she felt around my bicep."

Again, the questioning gaze from Evie made Mal frown, more so when the girl starts feeling around her bicep, "This bicep?" She asks, teasing Mal in return when the girl removes herself from Evie, "It's not flexed right now." She mumbles, taking off to go search the fridge, because you know, she's a person and she's hungry.

It took a few minutes but the moment the door swung open, Evie didn't know if she should be jealous or anything because Audrey was there, along with Harry, Uma, Jay and Carlos, all wearing knowing looks, some smirks and a little grin on Audrey's face when she sits on their couch, "Eves, are you busy? Do you _maybe_ wanna catch a movie with us?"

Hesitantly, Evie stands up, turning to her girlfriend as she brought up the orange juice to her lips, "Well, you know, I was about to do some laundry." She excuses herself, and thank god for being the theater kid she was, Audrey gives out a disappointed expression, "Oh."

"Hey, M, you wanna come and do it with me?" She asks knowingly, raising an eyebrow as Mal smirks while the others watched, already know what they're about to actually do. "Sure, why not?" Mal answers.

That's when the unexpected happens. Because next thing they knew, Carlos was coming out of his room, a laundry bag filled with dirty clothes ready to be cleaned at the ready, "Well, that's great! I have a paper due tomorrow and I would really appreciate it if you guys could help me with this one." He smiles innocently, frowning when he doesn't get a response, "You don't mind, do you?"

And okay, Mal was unbreakable, no other person than Evie can break her _but_ when Carlos begins to get all pouty and sad, she just has to go and take and do whatever he wants done.

Evie was different, though. For fucks sake, she just wants to spend some time with Mal alone. No sex, just them, talking, watching a movie. Things couples can do. So, she responds to him with the worst line ever, "I-Well, we don't have enough quarters?"

Unsure of what she just had said, Harry grins from his spot on the couch, taking a bag of quarters and lifting it high up, "Aye, ah 'ave a bag of quarters!"

The conversation about laundry and quarters ends there when Ben barges in, looking a little tired from all the flight of stairs he just got up from, "Hey."

"Hey, Ben, any news on the apartment yet?" Uma asks this time, kicking Jay's foot as the annoyed look on his face remains obvious, the brunette just sighs, taking a seat on the dining table. "I called over there and turns out, Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it himself."

"But," He starts, a smile so wide on his face as he claps his hands together, "I may or may not bribed him to, you know, tip the scales in my direction." He smirks, acting like it was the most evil thing in the world when everyone in the room had _actually_ done something evil.

"You could probably see it from the window." He points out, standing and heading to it while everyone else follows, the bag of laundry and bag of quarters long forgotten.

Evie furrows her eyebrows, turning to her brother, "You got him a pinball machine?" She asks incredulously as the boy shakes his head, "How about the new mountain bike?" Mal asks this time, squinting her eyes to take a better look when Ben still shakes his head, Evie turns to him exasperatedly.

"Then what did you send?" She asks, making her brother frown, "A box of jelly donuts." He mumbles, turning around disappointedly when Jay hums, "There's a whole table of jelly donuts, what did you send?" Audrey asks this time, facing the brunette who mumbles again, "The small one."

Infuriated groans and disbelieving cries were heard throughout the apartment as Ben pouts, "You really thought that a box of jelly donuts would work?" Audrey asks, flicking the back of his head as Uma bangs her own head on the table, the brunette nods, "Well, yeah! Someone sent a box in my Home Ec class once and everyone went crazy for it. It was the best day."

Sighing, Mal shakes her head, "The classes you're into makes me sad." She says, earning the finger from Ben as he stands up from his chair, "I just really want that apartment, you know? Well, that's ten bucks I'll never see again." He mutters before leaving, slamming the door behind him when Uma stands too.

"We gotta go if we don't wanna miss that movie, we'll see you guys later." Uma breathes, taking her jacket as Harry, Carlos and Jay follow closely behind, "Bye, guys." Evie bids them, earning goodbyes from the others as well when Audrey slows down, stopping beside Mal as she smiles flirtily, "See you later, charming."

And then she winks, leaving Mal to have her jaw dropped on the ground as Evie _desperately_ tried not to like, pounce on her because that's _her_ girl.

The moment she closes the door, the blonde turns to Evie, flailing her arms around yet no words coming out of her mouth, "D-Did you see that?! The-the wink and the smile!" She lets out, wanting Evie to actually see that _this_ was happening. That Audrey is indeed hitting on her.

Evie nods, "Actually, I did." She agrees, walking closer to Mal, her jaw still dropped to the ground, "Okay, so now do you believe that Audrey's attracted to me?" She asks, there was a long pause and damn did that long pause give Evie the answers.

First of all, there is _no way_ in hell that Audrey would be attracted to Mal for these particular reasons.

One, she's actually turned Mal down back when they were in middle school when the girl asked her out because she said and Evie quotes, "Mal is my sister. Weird to say but she is, somehow."

Two, Audrey's been waiting for Uma to stop being a pussy and actually ask her out like a normal person would. They've been on to dinners, accidentally kissed one time and honestly, the sexual tension, oh god, the sexual tension. It was suffocating them at this point.

And reason number three, Audrey would only use her charm and get her flirt going when she wants something, when she needs something done or said. And Evie knows exactly what she wanted.

"She knows about us." She says, staring at Mal with a calm expression despite all he bad things that could go wrong when Audrey Rose Mountbatten knows your secret, Mal just gapes at her.

"Are you serious?" She asks, standing closer to her girl when Evie nods frantically, "She knows and she wants the truth to come out of our mouths. She wants to catch us red-handed." She explains and Mal feels a little hurt, but at the same time, she didn't have any biceps, she was awkward and she was _far_ from charming. So, she gasps, jumping in realization that Evie had to catch her to avoid her from slipping. "Oh my god, she knows about us!"

Just across the hall, Jay had one of his earbuds in, Dude on his lap with his leash still attached to him, he liked that, really, having Dude by himself. Or at least, he likes it when no one sees it.

Because next thing he knew, he was gently shoving the dog off of his lap as Mal and Evie burst in, frustrated and angered expressions on their faces as they stare at Jay.

Really, if they were a cartoon or if they were put under CGI, Mal and Evie would both have steam coming out of their nostrils.

"Jay!" Mal growls, stomping closer to him as he leans on his chair, actually terrified of the two as he barely squeaks out an answer, "Yeah?"

"Audrey knows about us!" She shouts, causing the boy to whimper in fear as Evie stares at him, if looks could kill, he'd be long gone by now.

"Well, I didn't tell them!" He replies, cowering in fear under their intense gaze when they stood there, baffled, " _Them?_ Who the hell is them?" Evie interrogated this time, slamming her hands down on the table as Jay desperately tries to find a excuse, a way out.

"Uh, you know, Audrey and Jay?" He smiles, hoping that it would save him when Evie begins to stare into his soul, "Maybe Uma, Harry and Carlos too?" He replies reluctantly, hissing in pain when he accidentally digs his nails into his skin, Mal frowns, "Oh, man. We trusted you!" 

This time, Jay actually had an answer that could save him. "And it was right to trust me because I haven't said a word to them. They all found out on their own. You're not good at hiding this stuff." He says smugly, shaking his head and standing up as he leans on the door, "Audrey found out because she saw you two through the window." 

Horrified looks were evident on the two girls' faces, "And don't even get me started on how the rest found out." He chuckles, Evie runs to him, holding him at Mal-point because well, it's worse than having a gun up your throat. He tries fighting back but damn does the girl have a strong grip. 

"You're telling us right now or so help me god, I will kill you." She snarls, gently walking over to Jay until he broke, "Fine! You," He points to Evie, "You were stupid enough to leave your phone when everyone else was in the room. You got multiple naughty texts from Mal, really, Evie? You could name her 'Babe' or anything but you just had to put Mal with a heart." 

And okay, sure, that was her mistake but they shouldn't have snooped! She let's go of Jay, panting for air and about to leave when the boy stops them, "But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing." 

That's when Mal and Evie look at each other, smirks on their faces as the mischief in their eyes twinkled so brightly, Jay knew that look and that look meant mischief. He gulps. "Well, unless," Evie purrs, turning to him as he shakes his head frantically, "No! Not unless! Tell them, you assholes!" 

Dismissing him entirely, Evie turns to Mal, "They think they're so slick. Really, they think they can mess with us? But see they don't know that we know that they know!" She grins, earning a laugh, or more like, cackle, from Mal, "The pawns become the players!" 

Oh how this plan would work so well. But first, sleep. They need sleep. Seriously, a big day of planning requires sleep. 

* * *

"Ben, would you please stop that? You look like you're a stalker." Uma sighs from her seat inside the Grimhilde-Mountbatten-De Vil apartment as they ate their snacks, all finished with their classes for the day. To give this more context, Ben thought that stalking Ugly Naked Guy's apartment with a pair of binoculars is a great idea. 

"Ben, love, ye gotta stop torturin' yourself." Harry frowns, pulling him aside as the brunette pouts, "But, I really want that apartment! You gotta admit, it's kinda bad we gotta crash at their couches." He replies knowingly, Harry nods, stroking his hair, "Why don't you just find another apartment?" Carlos asks, shoving a piece of chocolate in his mouth when Ben shakes his head. 

"Look, I've looked for apartments, Harry looked for apartments. This was finally the one we both wanted, none of what we saw can even compare to that. Plus, we're closer to you guys." He sighs, standing up and taking another sandwich from Evie's plate, earning him a curse. 

That's when Carlos sparks up an idea in his head, "You know what you should do?" He starts, standing up and putting a hand on the boy's shoulder, "Yeah?" He asks hopefully, Ben's eyes swimming with desperation and hope as Carlos smiles, "You should go find out what his hobbies are, y'know? Then do it with him, be a friend to him." 

Nodding in agreement from the counter, Mal smiles, "Yeah, if you want to talk to me, you'd go talk about art or killing people." She shrugs, "What's up with you and killing today?" Jay asks, concerned at Mal who only shrugs, staring pointedly at Audrey with a smirk as Evie holds her hand behind the counter, "I don't know, find it cool."

"That's actually a great idea! And, we've been here for what? Two, three years? We know what he does. And that's giving me all the advantages." He claps happily, everyone pauses, realizing how wrong everything they did was. "Now that you said it out loud, we did watch him for years."

"I feel dirty." Evie shudders, agreeing to Uma who nods in return, "He had that trampoline, right?" He asks, thinking of ideas that can give him an edge, Jay shakes his head, "Yeah, no, he broke that." 

"Space boots?" He asks, this time, Harry's the one shaking his head, "Yeah, broke those too." Audrey answers, making the boy frown as Mal opens the door for him, her, Ben and Evie about to leave when the boy stops, halfway out the door, "He had a cat, right?" 

"Wouldn't bring that up. Poor cat, didn't see that big butt coming." Carlos frowns, pursing his lips together as Ben sighs, dropping his smile and leaving the room with his sister and best friend close behind. 

The remaining friends just watch the TV until the phone rings, the home phone, to be exact, "Hey, who's this?" Carlos asks simply, leaning on his chair as Mal chuckles, "Where's Audrey?" She asks, confused, the boy looks up, "Auds, it's Mal, she's looking for you." 

Surprised, Harry lowers down the volume of the movie, sitting closer to the brunette girl as she clears her throat, taking a deep breath before answering Mal with a flirty, "Hey, Mal."

Just across their apartment, Mal was holding her phone out, on speaker mode so that Evie could also listen in, smirking devilishly as they start their plan, looking at the raven haired girl for permission to continue, Evie nods and Mal smiles, "Hey, Auds. So, I-I've been thinking about you all day. How is my princess doing?" 

Caught way too off guard, Audrey's jaw drop, along with Uma's, Harry's and Carlos', Jay was just pissed that this is starting. "Eh?" She asks, dropping her flirty facade as Mal smirks, smiling at Evie with this wicked glint in her eyes, "Are you okay, babe? You sound so shocked." 

"I-I'm fine. Is that the only reason why you called?" She sputters, pacing back and forth while in the apartment parallel to them, Mal was jumping up and down, stopping her laugh when Evie had to go inside the room, her snort-laugh being inevitable. 

"You know, that thing you said yesterday? Yeah, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued." Mal says, somehow getting her shit together and sounding like she just hadn't laughed like a fucking Hyena as Audrey pales like a ghost, "You were?" 

Nodding, as if Audrey could see, Mal answers, "Yup. And, hey, Ben, Jay and Uma won't be here tonight, so, why don't you come over? You know, talk and maybe do things we aren't supposed to." She says slyly, enough to make Harry choke on thin air as Audrey gapes at her, "I'll have to get back to you on that." She says quickly before dropping the call. 

Mal smirks victoriously as Evie tugs on her sleeve, still laughing uncontrollably. Any normal person would think she's a mad woman, but here's Mal, looking at her, thinking she's the most beautiful person in the whole universe. 

"Oh my–– what the hell was that?" Audrey shrieks, walking around the apartment, fanning herself, nearly jumping out the balcony when Harry stops her, pulling her back inside as Uma shakes her head, "I can't believe Mal would do that to Evi–– wait a damn minute." She stops, flexing her neck and clenching her jaw as she looks pointedly at Jay, the boy avoiding her death stare. 

"Jay, do they know that we know?" Harry asks slowly, also turning to him as Carlos joins him, also glaring at the boy disappointedly, "No?" He lies, trying to summon his puppy dog eyes when Carlos raises an eyebrow, "Jay."

Sighing, he surrenders, nodding guiltily, "They know that you know. All of you." He says, earning angered grunts, "I knew it!" 

"I cannot believe those two." Carlos mutters, walking back and forth when Audrey nods, "They think they can mess with us? Of all people they're trying to mess with us?" She asks, hyping the others up as they nod, "Well, sucks to be them because they don't know that we know they know we know!" She grins happily as she turns to Jay, "You, you're not speaking today." 

The boy just raises his hands in surrender, standing up to get a soda as Audrey cracks her knuckles, they wanna play? Oh, they'll play. 

In the building across the street, Ben sighs, hesitantly climbing up the stairs and trying to get out of it when he remembers why he's doing it. Harry can't sleep in couches anymore, he can't sleep in couches anymore. Plus, they can't do _it_ somewhere that isn't _their_ place. Please, they're decent people. 

He stares at the door in front of him, gulping in fear when he knocks, waiting patiently for the owner to open the door. And when he does, his eyes immediately go up from the floor to his face, smiling brightly at him, "Good evening, sir. My name is Benjamin Beau. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment." He starts, smiling at him with his chesnut eyes that the man began to be intrigued.

"And I-I realize that the competition is fierce but—I'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked." He gulps, reluctantly looking down on his, thing, before clapping his hands together. His friends said find something they could bond about and this was it. He wants the apartment, he'll get it. "And I applaud you. Man, I wish _I_ was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it." He smiles, look, it may be sucking up to him but he wants the apartment, and he'll do nearly everything just to get it. 

Back in Evie's apartment, she and Mal watch from the kitchen as their friends talk in hushed whispers, while Jay was on the window, looking out, like Audrey said, he isn't speaking today. Well, not unless he needs to. 

Evie smirks, leaning close to whisper to Mal, "Look at them, they're panicked." She says joyously as Mal agrees, "They're totally backing down." She says knowingly, already preparing herself to act hurt and all, you know, for show. 

"All right, she wants a date? Mal Bertha Moors is going to get a date." Audrey says, trying to convince herself that she can do it, that she can break the two while the others nod, putting their faith in her as she straightens herself up, "I'm doing it." She says finally before Harry stops her, "Be sexy, lass." He smiles, encouragingly as Audrey rolls her eyes, "Please."

The moment she stood up and sauntered over Mal, she still sees them talking, and you know, summoning the inner theater kid in her, she glares at Evie, acting as if she was jealous as Evie returns the same gaze. The only difference was hers is real, and she's on her last nerve, trying not to yell at them and tell them to back off of Mal. 

"Hey, so, Mal, I'd like to come over tonight." She smiles, innocently enough as she twirls a strand of hair on her fingers, tilting her head and staring at Mal as she collects herself, since her jaw was dropped to the ground, not really expecting them to not back down. "Really?" She asks worriedly as Audrey nods, "Yeah, of course! So, is seven okay?" She asks, leaning closer to Mal's space and trying her best not to tell her that she reeked of Evie's perfume, "Yeah. Seven's good." 

"Well, looks like I'll be looking forward to seeing you." She winks one last time before turning around, Mal looks extremely worried as she tries to shout, yet no sound comes out of her mouth, Evie just stares at her from the back of the couch, telling her that, "It's okay, we can do it." 

Their silence was cut short when Jay furrows his eyebrows, standing up from the seat near the windowsill, "Hey, look! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!" He yells, making the rest to forget what just happened, all scrambling to the window as they all look out. 

They stare at who it was at first, assuming it was a pot dealer or a murderer when Harry gasps, putting a hand over his forehead as he shrieks, "That's _our_ friend! That's me boyfriend!" He yells, "It's Naked Ben!" They all shout together, god, when Ben said he'd do anything they didn't think that he'd do _that_. 

* * *

"Okay, show time!" Uma yells happily as she fixes Audrey's dress, the brunette smiles thankfully at her before turning to Carlos, "You, get me perfume, and Mr. Scotland, get me wine and glasses." She instructs, both doing their tasks as Jay watches them with sheer disappointment. 

Carlos returns with the bottle of perfume, spraying Audrey around with it as Harry gives her the wine and glasses, Jay begrudgingly opens the door for them. 

"All right, this will be great! Just freak her out until she breaks, make sure you look like you want to have sex with her." Evie says determinedly, jumping up and down as Mal tries to hold her down, stopping her in her tracks, "Okay, listen, princess, how far do I have to go with her?" She asks seriously, "Just until she breaks. I trust you, M. Don't abuse it." She whispers, pulling Mal in for another kiss, "Good luck." She winks, leaving Mal alone before rushing to the restroom, hiding. 

"Aye, we're goin' to try and listen from here." Harry tells Audrey who nods, "Okay." She answers, about to enter when Uma pulls her, "Look, when all of this is over, you're actually going out on a date with me, okay?" She asks, a little unexpected even from her, Carlos just widens his eyes, blinking rapidly as he hums, "Huh, that was unexpected." 

Smiling, Audrey nods, "As long as you treat me, then it's fine by me." Were her final words before entering, seeing Mal waiting for her in the kitchen counter, smiling brightly as she approaches Audrey, taking the wine and the glasses, "Good evening, my lady." She smiles, receiving a smile from the brunette in return. 

"So, you didn't bring the wine for no reason, right? Would you like some?" The blonde asks, albeit her tone, her face was saying another story, thankfully, her back was turned to the brunette who was shaking, "Yeah, sure, why not?"

Mal nods, pouring the contents of the bottle into the glasses, handing one to Audrey, "So, here we are. Nervous?" Audrey asks, leaning back on the counter as Mal chuckles, shaking her head, "Me? No. You?" She asks, a little hopeful that maybe the girl would back down but _no_ , she does not. 

"Oh, I want this to happen." She smirks, finally, thank god, finally the theater kid has entered her, Mal just gulps, nodding her head in agreement, "So do I." She mutters, clinking their glasses together before gulping it one go, Audrey doing the same. 

"I'm going to put on some music." Mal says awkwardly, walking to the bluetooth speaker Jay owned and playing some music from her phone, the Mii channel theme playing, well, if that song doesn't sum up the awkwardness between them right now then I don't know what will. 

She chuckles nervously, putting a different song before turning to Audrey, "Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you." She says suggestively, playfully doing a silly dance that was enough to even make Evie laugh from inside the restroom. Audrey is a good at a lot of things, and making them laugh is one of them. 

"You look funny." Mal laughs, watching her best friend dance and giggle at the same time, taking her back to when they were children. "Please, you know it sucked. I'm your best friend." She replies, earning a nod from the blonde, she turns to the bathroom door when the other girl was distracted, seeing Evie give her a push, she decides to do so. "So, why don't we take it to the, uh, bedroom?" 

Surprised, Audrey jumps, turning back to Mal, "We should?" She asks, hesitantly as Mal shrugs, "Do you not want to?" Her voice was shaky and Audrey could easily break her but _her_ voice was also shaky. They're both just desperate at this point. "No, no! It's just that, I have to go get something first." 

And then she slams the door behind her, leaving Mal to rush to the bathroom, finding Evie there smiling, "You're doing pretty great." She says, a little impressed as Mal gawks at her, "Great? Honey, she's not backing down!" 

Evie, being the great girlfriend she is, simply assures Mal with eleven words, "You will break her. Or else I'll break up with you." 

"Mal's not backing down. She wanted to move it to the bedroom." Audrey deadpans, already biting her nails as Carlos blows out a puff of air, a little stressed at the moment. At that exact same time, Jay gets out of Audrey's apartment, frowning, "Oh come on, you're not done yet? I wanna sit in my chair!" He whines, earning yet another round of scolding from Carlos. 

"Look, Jay, the sooner Audrey breaks Mal, the sooner this will be over. So, are you on our side or not?" He asks, staring straight at the boy's eyes who nods in realization, "I like that idea!" He grins, now joining their little huddle as he turns to Audrey, "Kiss her! Mal's afraid of kissing someone when there's light. She thinks it's awkward." He smiles, offering her a little help as the brunette nods. Again, she turns her back, entering the apartment. 

"Oh, you're already headed to the bedroom?" Mal asks nervously when she sees Audrey halfway through the apartment, she smirks, "Well, we can also do it here, you know?" She says, cringing internally as she said those words. Praying to every god too because hell, Evie's going to kill her.

"Well, if-if that's the case, I think I'll kiss you?" Mal questions, wanting to cry when they walk together, meeting in the middle of the living room, just inches away from each other as Audrey wraps her arms around Mal's neck, already wanting to smack it down on the ground until she admits that Evie and her _are_ together but you know, violence is not the answer. 

Mal hesitantly puts her arms around Audrey's waist, "W-Well I think there's no other choice but for us to kiss." She says, wincing when they pull closer. It felt like long agonizing hours, and it felt like being killed when their lips touched. Mal stops, pulling away and pushing Audrey off as she jumps, finally, surrendering. 

"Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win! I can't have sex with you!" Mal yells, stepping away from Audrey, her forhead was creased and guilt was written all over her face, the girl smirks, "And why not?" She asks, taunting her, taunting _them_.

"Because I'm in love with Evie!" She retorts, shouting her heart out as she flails her arms around, everything seemed to pause. The brunette seemed a little boggled, "You're-you're what?" she begins to sputter, as Evie gets out of the bathroom, a big smile and tears running down her face, having heard Mal's confession as Uma, Jay, Carlos and Harry all enter as well. Shock was an understatement, to be honest.

"I love her! That's right, I love her! I love her." She repeats on and on, emphasizing each word until she pulls Evie to a tight hug, bringing their foreheads together, "I'm in love with you, Evie."

Evie beams at her, shaking her head, "I'm in love with you too, Mal." She replies, pulling her in for a quick kiss as the others smile at them, their hearts warmed and all as Carlos sneakily took pictures. 

It was the first time they said it to each other, and it was also not how they expected how everything would go, but really, it was worth it. They love each other and it's all that matters. 

"Wow, we thought you guys were just fucking." Audrey mumbles, taking her place by Uma's side as Jay grins, "Mal, the feisty blonde without a heart, actually in love." He says, earning a laugh from everyone. 

"Hats off to Audrey, I know you're competitive but damn was that on another level. By the way, you asked her out yet?" She asks, the last statement directed to Uma who nods, "Taking her out tomorrow, same time as this but we're actually going on a date." She smiles, looking down at the brunette who blushes furiously. 

They all just stood there, enjoying each other's company when Ben enters, a big smile on his face, "I got the apartment!" He yells gleefully, earning hesitant yet joyous looks from everyone, knowing how he got it. 

"Ben, there's something we have to tell you." Evie suddenly says, piquing his interest as he listens in, "Mal and I are together." She says in all but one breath, earning an eye roll from the brunette, "I know, Harry told me."

Surprised, the Scottish boy gasps, "Ah did not!" He says, defending himself when Ben smirks, "You mumble in your sleep." 

They all laughed at his embarrassed face, all standing beside the person who meant to them the most. Maybe, life wasn't a sit-com, maybe life wasn't a fairytale. There were no laugh tracks, no CGI, no effects and no soundtrack. 

But, to them, it felt like it. Because all of them were in love, or at least, starting to fall in love. And love, it was the most magical, most addictive feeling in the world, something you couldn't manufacture. That's why they didn't need any effects or CGI because hey, they're already living a magical and nearly picture perfect life. 


End file.
